The question I want to challenge you with today is this: what is the most important thing you as parents can model for your kids that will help your children be great parents when they get married?
I believe that as parents we want the best for our children and for our family but all to often we become too focused and worried about making sure our kids are happy. So often we are trying to give them everything they WANT that we leave out the most important thing, what they actually NEED. What they actually NEED is the answer to surviving the stressful routine and ruts. Because, if left unchecked our routines and ruts cause separation in our relationships.
Now before you jump to conclusions and think that I am about to tell you to buy a book or send your kids to boarding school know that won’t be in this article, because that would be easy, too easy! No, what I believe is the answer to effectively surviving the routines and the ruts of life as a family takes work. Its not easy but its worth it. You are worth it, Your Spouse is worth it, Your Kids and their future is worth it!
So what is it?
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE.
Seriously, thats it. That is the single most important thing parents can model to your kids. When that happens the home becomes a refuge. Everything else might be spinning out of control, but at the end of the day, if a child can tell that mom still really loves dad, and dad still really loves mom, then as a child I sleep better at night. Parents, did you know that if you are still married to your spouse, as you’re reading this article you are becoming the minority. I believe the problem lies in our priorities. Too often it’s kids first, and the relationship with spouse second, or a distant third. If you really want to help your son and daughter grow up to be the most successful parents they can be, then begin modeling for them how to put your spouse first. Maybe its time to to find a hobby together, or remember how to laugh together, to fight fair, and forgive one another.
I know that in everything I have just said, I am or will be soon speaking to the minority. What if you are a single parent? What in this conversation of modeling life for your children will help them to become great parents when they grow up.
Here is the answer:
DON’T COMPROMISE WHO YOU DATE…
Assuming you will be dating one day its important to find someone who will earn the respect of your kids. I have seen it all too often where after divorce parents because they are hurt and vulnerable, don’t choose the best people to date for marriage. Remind yourself that you are still a child of God. Your heavenly Father cares deeply for you, your children, and the relationship you will have in preparation for marriage. Trust Him. Don’t compromise who you will date.
What do we want? To pass down to the next generation a great example of loving God and loving our spouse. What do we need? To begin today to forgive past hurts and love our spouses with a love that reflects the great undeserved love of Jesus Christ for each of us. We love because He first Loved us!
*Disclaimer, I believe in what I wrote, but each one of us has a choice to follow God or ignore Him, even our kids. They must choose to follow Christ, we as parents can’t make them, but we can model a surrendered life and our actions in many cases will speak louder than our words.
* Prov. 4:23-27
* 1 Peter 3:8-11