What Is A “Good Dad” Anyways…..

I was talking to my friend today and he made a comment. I have heard this comment before and I honestly do enjoy hearing it… I think most dads want to hear it…. He said “Your a “Good” dad…. Some don’t know where to start to be a “good” dad…

Well on my way home from his house I began to ask, what makes a dad “Good”… What makes a dad “Bad”…. So I made a short list… Here it is:

1. The kids know that their dad loves their mom. NOW before you go and get all upset single dads…. Single dads it matters how you treat your “ex-wife”… She birthed your kids, there are more ways than physical to show your kids you love their mom. But this is important because your kids need a solid support system, and parents you ARE the CORE of that system….

2. You Fall Forward… This is a John Maxwell illustration, the idea is this, Dads you know that your going to make mistakes as a Husband and as a Father… But make them as you are being intentional in your relationships. Here is an example, I love to take my kids grocery shopping, its a blast… I run up and down the isles and I chase Joel behind the displays…. I really make the most of my time at store/playground while buying groceries…. Some people don’t like that… Some people won’t like anything you do because nobody took the time to care about them when they were a kid, its in there defense system to be mean… So I am in the checkout line and this is something I do a lot… I take Joel and I throw him down on the checkout belt and he rides toward the cashier… Well someone took a pretty big offense to that and they yelled at me… Of course this idea of falling forward must be tamed, but the principle is the same, don’t sit back and wait for life to pass you by… Make mistakes… Do it in a way that people notice your trying to be a better parent…

3. You Have FUN TOGETHER… Just because you don’t remember what is like to be 4 years old, doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for your kids too… Be reminded of how much fun it is to be young… You wont feel old after awhile… Just a warning… You probably don’t move like you used too.. You probably will feel it in the morning…

4. BEING CURIOUS… Ever wonder why kids ask so many questions… Me either it can be annoying… lol… Just kidding.. But your kids are learning SOO MUCH because they are not afraid to ask the most important question ever: WHY?!?! As many times as they ask you, WHY… YOU ASK THEM… Its fun and it their view on the world is often refreshing!!!

5. Your kids know you love them…. Again Love its about physical touch… Its a billion times more than just words…. You cant throw gifts at kids and expect them to know you love them… They will know you love them when you value them enough to spend time with them… There is no way around that… Time=Love….. You cant make enough money to by them happiness… Happiness comes through security and security comes through relationship which is only possible when you spend time together… And when you spend time together with your kid(s) they will know you love them…

Those are the quick five that I came up with… What about you? What would you say is a quality of a “Good” dad???

OH YEAH…. What makes a “bad” dad…selfishness & Knowing what your suppose to do and doing nothing….Or acting like any of the dads you see on “Comedy” TV Shows…

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DO ME! To GROW! The lies of to do lists…

Aside

Merge Now...

 

Being in the ministry and working in Church, I have often struggled giving people TO DO’s.

You know what I mean:
“You want to grow in your relationship with Christ?” DO THIS….
“You want to be a better Follower of Jesus?” DO THIS….
“You want to know how to Love more?” DO THIS…..
“You want serve better?” DO THIS….

I believe I struggle with that approach because its not really that easy… If it were then everyone would have a TO DO: List and our lives would radiate God’s Love and we wouldn’t see a lot of the brokeness and heart ache we see in the world, because we would have figured out the code. If we really want to have a growing relationship with Christ that will be lasting, what needs to happen?

I remember awhile back a pastor friend of mine told me that “We are most like Christ when we serve”… That is something I think about a lot… I believe the statement to be true…

I remember when I was in High School, I would get out of class and head strait to the church (actually there were times when a friend and I would literally race there, but dont tell my parents about that), I wanted to be PRESENT I wanted to be near the action of God because I knew my faith would grow there!
What did I do you might ask… Well, I talked and listened to the pastors, I would do some paperwork for them and just try to be present and wait for an opportunity to serve to arrive…

To some, that time of my life might be confusing, You might ask yourself. Didn’t Tom have any friends, wouldn’t he have wanted to go do something else?

Yes I had friends, but, I was doing something that gave me purpose… I wanted to do something that mattered, something eternal, even if it was as small as counting up receipts for the children’s pastor.

I didn’t have a to do list. I had a desire, a desire to do something for God and I was willing to be present and wait for opportunities to move… and because of that my faith did grow, I learned how to follow Jesus and I was taught how to love others… Because I made myself present and available for God.

So… If you want to grow in your relationship with God, Get around His people, Im not saying you just have to run to the church and hang out with pastors… But you need to be around people who are serving Jesus!

*Note: I do believe in TO DO Lists for productivity, but do not believe there is a to do list for growing closer to God. I don’t have a TO DO List for my relationships… I also acknowledge that I am still a work in progress and have not arrived but rather am Growing every day closer to Jesus Through His AMAZING GRACE (Not just my wife).