Protect (t)his House: Resource list for parents

Here is a list that was compiled by one of our preaching team members, These sites are to be used to challenge and engage your mind as you talk with your child about sex, purity, relationships, coodies….

If you have a “Go To” site that will help other parents that is not listed below please comment below with the link!

(Copy and Paste the links into your browser)

1. This link is about the Biblical guidelines for dating:

http://christiananswers.net/q-dml/dml-y006.html

2. This link is about a small group curriculum and powerful movement (The testimony videos are AWESOME): http://m.lifeway.com/n/Product-Family/True-Love-Waits

3. Some more guidelines for dating: http://www.epm.org/resources/2010/Jan/28/guidelines-sexual-purity/

4. A heart felt post about purity from the perspective of a youth pastor:

http://www.thechurchofnopeople.com/2013/02/what-i-wish-i-had-told-my-youth-group-about-purity/

5. This is a drama… about purity… I dare you parents to do this for your kids and video tape it… (and go through the questions together (not video taped) if you video tape it and send it to me… your kid will go to one event for free this year…

http://www.thesource4ym.com/outreach/topic.aspx?ID=138

6. This will help you develop your theology (Though process) for Purity:

http://www.simplyyouthministry.com/jim-s-thoughts-49.html

7. This is a “No holds-bar” document that gives biblical responses to almost everything surrounding this topic:

http://ds.bgco.org/docushare/dsweb/Get/Document-2669/Biblical%20Responses%20to%20the%20Questions%20Youth%20Ask%20About%20Sexual%20Purity.pdf

8: This offers 10 great ways to practice purity and would be a great list to run down with your kids!

http://t.co/1BqizbZt9H

9: Stop by the Family Resource Center in the Fellowship Mall at The Wesleyan Church of Hamburg to see other parenting resources.

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Everyone was thinking it, Nobody said anything… Hopefully you will listen…

MIDDLE SCHOOLERS: These pictures floating around saying SHARE if you love Jesus… If three of the four pictures do not represent Jesus (examples: porn, Satan, insert inappropriate image)

In no way does the sharing of these photos show you love Jesus…
We don’t prove our love for Jesus through the sharing of a Facebook photo anyways…

PLEASE WATCH WHAT YOU SHARE…. Read Philippians 4:8 before you shareANYTHING if you need a filter….

Better than not sharing, it would serve you well just un-friend those picture sites, and don’t waste time looking at those things…

Oh yeah and… “Shut up and Kiss me” – That phrase is said by NO happily married couple EVER…

RUN DRAMA!!! SAVE YOURSELF!!!!

Through the StormBeing a Middle School Pastor I see many students involved in dramatic experiences. I am writing this blog to offer three ways for you the Middle School Student to avoid engaging in drama So here goes:-)

The first understand is THAT: Drama doesn’t find YOU, You find DRAMA… 

To truly avoid DRAMA you must decide NOT to listen to rumors. When that guy or girl calls and you know they have dirt on everyone and they love to share it, Ignore the call!!! Don’t return the TXT message… This will help you because you wont believe all the lies and rumors that are started. BUT this will also help because it will force the Drama King or Queen to stop talking about other people, because nobody will listen to them. Drama finds you every time you listen instead of ignoring the rumor source.

The second: Don’t treat your friendships like cool wrapping paper.

Birthdays & Christmas gifts are awesome but have you ever thought about how you see the presents and they are cool looking… But the moment you get what you want out of it the wrapping paper is tossed and you never want to see it again. To often I see Middle School Students treating each other in this way. Remember: YOU ALL HAVE FEELINGS. The faster you pick up and dump friends the more you get hurt and hurt each other. When you have friendships that hit hiccups and times get rough, communicate with the source, value your friendship enough to speak to your friends directly.

Lastly, Don’t be a Drama King or Queen….

I know this sounds simple and obvious but the truth is… If you want people to like you and you want to be a positive influence in the lives of people, you must be TRUSTWORTHY… You must prove over and over to have the character of trustworthiness… I have heard it said that trust takes a lifetime to build and second to loose. When people tell you things in confidence, keep them in confidence, when you notice things about people that could be juicy gossip, don’t share it… Keep their confidence (Unless its a situation where someone is getting hurt, then you need to talk with a TRUSTED ADULT).

Remember, in Middle School, your world is like the shifting sand in the sea…  Drama will come and go but warning to the ones who allow it to start and those who don’t stop it… You will get a reputation that will be nearly impossible to shake…

Pastor Tom

The Wesleyan Church of Hamburg: Middle School Pastor 

Lies… (Exposing the truth from the relationship lies of our culture) #Part 2

Hey Parents!

I realize this topic of sex and purity is a delicate one and for that reason I have created this post to help you understand what I am sharing, in hopes that together we can partner together to protect our kids from the incredible temptations that are presented to them every day. – Pastor Tom

2nd LIE… “It’s Just Sex”

TRUTH: Purity is a Gift and Purity is to be protected

Things People Never say…

“Its just cancer”
“Its just a billion dollars”
“Its just a scratch on my new car”
“Its just my first child… I have two more”
“Its just a flesh wound” *Ok that one I have heard before 🙂

People don’t say those things because: Each of those examples carries with it incredible VALUE. We protect things with VALUE. Which is the same for our purity, we protect it because it is VALUABLE.

Exposing the Lie: Its not just sex because sex is emotionally connected to your heart and your HEART IS VALUABLE (Proverbs 4:23)

Our purity is our gift from God designed for the person we will stand at the alter and join lives with in Marriage. (Genesis 2:24)  What type of heart do you want to present to your future spouse? We must get on the offensive and protect ourselves from all of the sexual temptations that exist in our culture.

God’s View Of Purity: God wants the best for us in every area and sexual purity is no exception. His plans are better than our own plans.

1 Timothy 4:12

Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. 

Psalms 119:9 

How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 

God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.  Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—  not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.

For the message I will be preaching from 2 Samuel 11 (Most likely summarizing it) and will look at Davids sin with Bathsheba and how we can learn to be proactive in Protecting our Purity because it is VALUABLE.

 

How To Be Proactive In Protecting Yourself From Sexual Temptation: 

1. Talk It Out.

*** Communicate with your parents about sexual questions, If you cant talk with your parents choose a TRUSTED adult. Another middle school student and the internet should NOT be your sounding board for this HUGE questions***

2. Go To Bed.

***Most sexual temptations begin with staying up late when your tired and your defenses are low, Go to bed and if you cant sleep read a PAPER book***

3. Say No NOW.

***Most sexual temptations don’t just jump out at you, it works in layers where if you don’t resist the temptation the temptation only grows and before you know it, you have crossed a line you never intended to cross(Porn & Relationally)****

 

Living life like God loves YOU: YOU WONT FALL INTO THESE LIES: 

YOU will know what REAL LOVE IS

YOU will know your GOD GIVEN VALUE

 

Summary: 
God has given us our sexual purity as a gift and we are to protect it. When we are married we will present our gift of purity. We want to present them with our gift in its original beauty.  This is possibly by choosing resist sexual temptation and refusing to be in anyway sexually active.

 

Parents I hope this will help you think about how to prepare your sons and daughters for dating. If you want to sit in while we are having this talk you are invited!
The dates are February 12th & 17th.
If you would like to talk with me about how to set up relational & purity boundaries I would be more than willing to sit down with you and help you. Also, our next Equipping Weekend here at the Wesleyan Church of Hamburg (March 22-23rd) We will be hosting a seminar about Helping Your Middle Schooler to Make Wise Choices. Be on the look out for more information about that!

Lies… (Exposing the truth from the relationship lies of our culture) #Part 1

Hey Parents!

Thank you for stopping by and checking out what is being taught to your children! I hope this helps you as well as your students to defeat these lies… – Pastor Tom

1st Lie: “I Love You” – said from one middle schooler to another inside a “dating relationship”

Truth: Two Loves you can BANK ON… The Love of the God of The Bible and Love of Family … “In middle school I don’t understand love enough yet to say I Love You to another middle schooler.” What they are offering is an IMITATION of what they perceive real love to me… BUT… REAL Love is SELFLESS and often like children, all students care about in Middle School, is themselves

Understand this: Parents who set up for their children structure for dating and have open communication about parental standards, will significantly decrease the chance of their son or daughter being hurt emotionally, physically and spiritually. Our kids need parents to set up boundaries and they need us to be unmoving in our authority.

Gods Word Defining Love:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NLT)

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

GODS LOVE: 

1 John 3:16a (NLT) 

We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. 

John 3:16 (NLT)

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

The I LOVE YOU test: This is a good standard for filtering out true love in relationship at any age.

* Are You Patient? (Are you trying to rush the relationship… if SO, Your not IN LOVE)
* Are you Kind? (Girls, if are not treated like a princes in a disney movie, you are not in LOVE)
* Are you Jealous? (If you are Jealous all the time because they have friends, you are not in LOVE)
* Are You Always Right? (If you control the relationship needing to be right all the time, YOUR NOT in LOVE)

A Challenge for the Boys: 

BEFORE you tell a girl you love her:

1. Tell her Dad You Love Him & You Love His Daughter.

(If you cant because you don’t know Him or because you are sacred… Your NOT ready to say “I LOVE YOU”)

2. Ask Him if He would allow you to tell her you love his daughter.

(He Loves her more than you do and has spent the hard time picking her up when she has fallen down, If he thinks you will hurt his daughter he will tell you that you are NOT ready to say “I LOVE YOU”)

3. Respect Your parents and her parents decision.

(Going behind your parents back is never safe, BUT this one is like playing with fire, if you can’t OR won’t respect what her dad says and live under the guidelines your parents have set, you are NOT ready to say “I LOVE YOU”)

Summary:

I LOVE YOU is a powerful statement and should be handled with GREAT CARE… We do not want to be tricked into believing we have the Real thing in a middle school relationship when what we really have is a cheap imitation.

Parents I hope this will help you think about how to prepare your sons and daughters for dating. There are two things you as a parent can bank on from me as their youth pastor:

1. I will always point students back to what you the parent says about dating. And 2. I will always teach that middle school relationships do not last and should not be pursued because they will always cause more drama and pain than if they had just remained friends.

If you would like to talk with me about how to set up relational boundaries I would be more than willing to sit down with you and help you. Also, our next Equipping Weekend here at the Wesleyan Church of Hamburg (March 22-23rd) We will be hosting a seminar about Helping Your Middle Schooler to Make Wise Choices. Be on the look out for more information about that!

Nobody Else Would Say It….

Here goes… Since you said…
I could ask you anything….
The first time I saw you…. I thought you respected yourself more then you have displayed on Facebook…
Truth Is…. On here we all want to be accepted, but sadly you can be accepted but still not respected or what we really want: to be loved…
And before you LMS… I’m speaking the truth…
Don’t… inbox me with numbers… Because we allready know you have friends, no need to prove yourself…
I might sound crazy but at your age your not ready for a… FB Marriage… Just a warning with a lack of commitment, things will only get more “Complicated” maybe you should just be friends….
Speaking of friends: Yes, they sent you a “friend request”… But if they won’t talk to your Face, they probably are not your real friends…

If you are totally confused by this… This is a response to many of the posts on Facebook that students post to fill time infront of their computer when they could be building into real friendships in person!